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#53831 - 11/28/03 06:11 AM Re: Jane says...
Bear
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/28/00
Posts: 1954
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

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Did anyone see the little piece about a new hipster-porn mag in the current issue, which begins with the words "There's only one thing more brilliant than Jane's concept - a beauty/fashion/lifestyle magazine that feels like your best friends wrote it - and that would be...."?

First of all - snerk. Yes, it would feel like that, if my friends were egomaniacal name-dropping arseholes who aren't vaguely as hip as they think they are. And second of all - that's the concept? Really? Because I thought it was "a fucked up vanity project with a couple of okay articles masquerading as a a beauty/fashion/lifestyle magazine that feels like it was written by people purely to show the less cool how cool they could be."

Honestly, mocking this magazine gives me more pleasure than reading it seriously ever could.

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#53832 - 12/02/03 02:09 PM Re: Jane says...
Kivrin
Ching Shih


Registered: 06/01/00
Posts: 4604
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA

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Kivrin raises her hand... Bear--I did, I did! I had to read it twice, and then I thought to myself--God, why am I reading a Jane article twice to understand it? Pffft.

And yet...I continue to buy and read this magazine. So. I must be getting something out of it, but I think what I enjoy the most is checking this thread for your witty observations of each issue!

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#53833 - 12/02/03 02:56 PM Re: Jane says...
Bear
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/28/00
Posts: 1954
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

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Hee! Why, thank you, Kivrin.And, it's just plain fun having stuff you love to hate.

To be totally fair to Jane, it does sometimes have decent articles. Alas, too often the rampant egomania from which all its writers seem to suffer spoils pieces on even the most interesting topics. And Jane Pratt is a freaking lunatic.

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#53834 - 12/30/03 08:39 PM Re: Jane says...
GingerCat
Ching Shih


Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 784
Loc: Philadelphia

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I used to subscribe to Jane but gradually grew to loathe it and let my subscription lapse a couple of years ago. (And I've been much happier without it!) Just the other day I got a mailer trying to sell me a subscription, but it was sent to my work address, not my home address, and was clearly meant for people who had never subscribed before. I mean, considering I'd previously subscribed, did they really think I'd fall for ad copy like this?
 Quote:
Every issue of JANE is written and designed with you in mind...by people who don't just talk about your lifestyle--they live it.

In it, you'll find everything that matters to you the most--wearable (note the keyword, "wearable") clothes and accessories that won't break the bank, interviews and profiles of celebrities and musicians that you actually care about...

I've put so much of my heart and soul into this magazine that I frankly can't imagine that you won't like it.
Please. I can't believe they actually emphasized the wearability and affordability of the clothes in Jane, considering they're anything but. And it's news to me that they feature profiles of celebrities that I care about--last time I checked, I didn't feel the need for multiple articles by and about Pamela Anderson.

Needless to say, I wasn't inspired to resubscribe. Bite me, Jane.

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#53835 - 12/30/03 11:15 PM Re: Jane says...
xenopi
Ching Shih


Registered: 10/06/03
Posts: 254
Loc: Paradise City

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 Quote:
egomaniacal name-dropping arseholes who aren't vaguely as hip as they think they are.
Thank you, like I really need to know what kind of eyelash curler Xtina prefers. Jane doesn't even make my airplane trash list anymore, if I take a flight that lasts longer than SPIN and Blender combined, I bring a book. Bringing Pam Anderson on board stinks of shark jumping.

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#53836 - 06/15/04 08:42 AM Re: Jane says...
Bear
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/28/00
Posts: 1954
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

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Wow, it's been quite some time since I ranted about Jane, but the current issue was too much for me to resist. An entire editor's letter devoted to crawling up Drew Barrymore's arse? A really clunkily written-piece by Ms Barrymore herself (I don't have anything against her, actually, but man, she's not a writer)? All this on top of the unreadable pile of crap that was the previous "celebrity-produced" issue. Jesus.

And that interview with the wanking-addict head of American Apparel was, um, unsettling. Did anyone else feel like the writer was getting a bit too involved with her subject? Coincidentally, I read the piece while wearing one of the compant's t-shirts, which I may never look at in the same way again.

Then there was the travel piece by Jane's mother about their family holiday which cost nearly three grand per four-member family for just four days. Um, yeah, that's accessible. What a feature - nepotism and blithe arrogance all in one!

I do, however, have to grudgingly give Jane props for regularly featuring queer women in their relationships/sex features. Hey, I said grudgingly!

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#53837 - 06/15/04 03:32 PM Re: Jane says...
Kivrin
Ching Shih


Registered: 06/01/00
Posts: 4604
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA

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Oh glee! Bear, I actually formatted a post to this thread yesterday, and somehow deleted it! Same wavelength with the current issue!

I felt kind of ill after reading the American Apparel article. Yes, I had a very difficult time understanding why the author seemingly fell so hard for such a scary ass, creepy dude. Drew is a cutie, and definitely not a writer, but she writes a bit better than Pam.

The travel piece by Pratt's mom-blergh!

I was glad to see My Girlfriend is Now my Boyfriend in It Happened to Me. So, yeah. Props to Jane for that.

In the post that never posted, I had made the observation that it had been a good long while since the last Bear rant!

And...I also have an embarrassing confession. I subscribed! Deranged of me, eh? But they got me--$8 sub cost with a free black messenger bag! Oh sh*t, the bag won't say JANE in big block letters, will it?

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#53838 - 06/15/04 04:51 PM Re: Jane says...
Bear
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/28/00
Posts: 1954
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

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 Quote:
Same wavelength with the current issue!
Hee! What does it say about this issue's extreme craposity that both of us felt compelled to break our months-long Jane-silence to rant about it?!

You're right about Drew being a better writer than Pammie. It's funny, I actually find both quite likeable, but they should just stay away from the writing business. They're not good at it. I still can't believe that, given the tone of the magazine, Pam is a big draw to their "ideal" reader.

 Quote:

I felt kind of ill after reading the American Apparel article. Yes, I had a very difficult time understanding why the author seemingly fell so hard for such a scary ass, creepy dude.
I know! There was one bit where she seemed really impressed that he was wearing a pair of trousers which she also owned. I just kept thinking, "for god's sake, he's wanking in front of you! He's getting a blow-job in front of you! HE IS AN ENORMOUS CREEPY FREAK!" And yet she seems charmed, and unable to give up his company! Seriously, I'm starting to wish that American Apparel t-shirts weren't so well-fitting and sweat-shop free, because the thought of funding that man's freakiness does not appeal to me. They really are very well-made shirts, though...

And believe me, if the international subs were that cheap, I'd get one too. Actually, they are relatively cheap, as international subs go...no! I can't let myself do it!

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#53839 - 06/15/04 05:41 PM Re: Jane says...
Kivrin
Ching Shih


Registered: 06/01/00
Posts: 4604
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA

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 Quote:
Hee! What does it say about this issue's extreme craposity that both of us felt compelled to break our months-long Jane-silence to rant about it?!
Craposity. I love it!

...Oh, but I am sorry about your t-shirt...

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#53840 - 09/21/04 07:00 AM Re: Jane says...
Bear
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/28/00
Posts: 1954
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

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Well, it's been several months since my last Jane-related rant, but the current issue is SO FREAKING TERRIBLE that I feel the urge to share my feelings on the matter. In handy point form!

JUST SOME OF THE REASONS THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JANE SUCKS.

1. Jane's editor's letter, in which she tells us that now Jane has more ads and is "santised for your protection", it's somehow a "little bit more subversive than before". Because nothing is more subversive than a two-page ad for the National Guard! You keep telling yourself that, Jane....

2. The fact that she begins the aforementioned letter by flashing back to when the magazine began and they just had one bare conference room and one phone line, as if they were a zine like Bust or Bitch and this one room was someone's kitchen instead of the HQ of a glossy magazine OWNED BY A HUGE MULTINATIONAL COMPANY. Can she be any more self-deluded?

3. Why, of course she can! Because yet again she fills up the rest of the letter with her staff's praise of her! Including one snippet which she obviously misguidedly thought made her sound sympathetic as opposed to vapid fool - one of the staff tells about meeting Jane on the street and her having tons of bags filled with thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes, which he's never actually seen her wear. "She's a clothes hoarder not a clothes whore!" he "laughs". Yeah, because actually wearing the fancy clothes she'd just spent my yearly wage on would be so much worse than hiding them away like a loon. Fucking arsehole.

4. The article by Stephanie Trong about "Stepford Singles" which pretends that all the preposterous beauty routines it features aren't the ones expounded by every single one of those nice expensive ads. Why can't Jane just accept that it's a mainstream magazine and stop pretending that it's cooler than all the things it writes about and features? It wouldn't be particularly good then, but it probably wouldn't be so intensely irritating.

Ahhhhhh! That felt good.

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