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#92292 - 01/07/14 08:15 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: LaSalleUGirl]
grapevyne
Ching Shih


Registered: 11/02/01
Posts: 230

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I am sorry to hear about your friend's husband. The one thing you can do for her is listen to her talk about her husband and his death for as long as she wants. I was given a good piece of advice when my son died: Never stop talking about him.

I am doing ok. Moving on with life is hard, but I'm back to work. Last night I was finally able to pick up a book and read again. I do not have the concentration level yet for fiction, but memoirs are working for me.

I'm still worried about my oldest son. He lives in the other corner of the state. My youngest son and I are surrounded by family and a town who watched all three of them grow up. Depression can be harder to fight off when isolated.

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#92294 - 01/07/14 09:00 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: grapevyne]
essay
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/18/01
Posts: 1738

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It occurred to me just now that I need to make this thread a watched topic, as I had completely missed your post, grapevine. My IPGVs go out to not only your sons but to you and all the web of people who must be affected by your son's death. That is a hard, hard thing.

LaSalleUGirl, it's funny how much our friend's husbands can be a factor in our lives, and how many good memories we can have of them. I hope you can share yours with your friend as she is able to hear them. One of my friend's who was a widow very young told me that one time when it really helps to show up for a friend is six months after the death, when everyone else has 'moved on', but they haven't. IPGVs to KG and you as well. Cancer sucks.

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#92296 - 01/07/14 09:42 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: essay]
LaSalleUGirl
Ching Shih


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 1895
Loc: Philadelphia, PA, USA

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grapevyne, that is truly excellent advice. My sister committed suicide in 2007. My family talks about her constantly and finds ways to incorporate her memory into our lives. We still hang her Christmas ornaments each year, and we're about to celebrate her birthday with her favorite carrot cake later this week. I think there are probably people I've met more recently who have no idea that my sister is dead, because I talk about her and our shared childhood so regularly. I can't imagine how much worse it would feel NOT to talk about her.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Thanks for the IPGVs!

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#92299 - 01/08/14 05:29 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: LaSalleUGirl]
Anne's Friend Administrator
Ching Shih


Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 353
Loc: Cambridge, United Kingdom

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grapevyne, I'm afraid I'd missed your post, too. I'm so sorry about your son. My thoughts and very best vibes to you, and to your family.

LaSalleUGirl, I'm sending good thoughts to KG, and to you, too, as you celebrate your sister's birthday.

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#92320 - 01/20/14 11:50 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: Anne's Friend]
CaitlinM2



Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 457
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area

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Oh, I'm so sorry, grapevyne. I hope you are all hanging in there, and all of you are in my thoughts.
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#92321 - 01/27/14 01:19 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: CaitlinM2]
TraceyB
Ching Shih


Registered: 06/06/00
Posts: 1483
Loc: Minneapolis, MN

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Oh, dear, I haven't been here in way too long, and I missed the recent news in this thread.

grapevyne and LaSalleUGirl, I'll keep you, your families, and your friends in my thoughts and prayers.

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#92461 - 05/09/17 02:50 AM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: TraceyB]
grapevyne
Ching Shih


Registered: 11/02/01
Posts: 230

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I may be sending this thought into the void, by the dates since anyone has posted. I feel guilty for my part in not participating in conversation enough; life has gotten busy and I have neglected friends until I need them.
Since the death of my son I have also lost a brother-in-law to cancer, he was 26, my boyfriend's brother who was 56, and now my brother has suddenly died at the age of 46. I have to wonder how much a family can take. I asked my boyfriend, who has lost all but one sister in his immediate family, if your heart ever feels like it can't take any more. He replied "yes, but then something comes along to give you hope." He pointed to my new nieces and nephews and said that they are the hope.
I am sending this thought out to everybody who has lost too many loved ones, find a baby, new friend, adopted grandparent, somebody to hug; these connections are our hope.
Or, maybe I should call this my last glass of wine and go to bed.

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#92462 - 06/01/17 10:18 PM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: grapevyne]
CaitlinM2



Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 457
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area

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I don't know what made me come and look to see whether the forum was still as moribund as it had become a few years ago, but when I saw your message of less than a month ago, grapevyne, I logged in. If you happen to check back, I am so sorry for all the losses in your and your boyfriend's life. That must be devastating. And I don't think your thought applies only to people who've lost many, just to suggest that none of us should take the importance of making connections for granted.

Please accept a virtual hug in the form of loving good vibes sent your way, for both of you.

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#92463 - 06/02/17 02:20 AM Re: The Intercessory Prayer and Good Vibrations Request Thread [Re: CaitlinM2]
essay
Ching Shih


Registered: 08/18/01
Posts: 1738

Offline
Grapevyne and CaitlynM2, I just got some email that there had been some activity here. The website may be a bit moribund, but I don't think the feelings and wellwishing from various members ever turns off. I am glad you checked in, Grapevyne, and although I cant' and wouldn't wish to compare myself to your catalog of loss, I do feel like there have been periods in my life where everywhere I turn there is calamity and grief. It would be trite and callous to say that 'it gets better', but I will say that our own perspective changes. I hope that just checking in here is helpful, but if there's anything else I can do, please let me know. Keep on hanging in there. I know it's easy to say, but please do anyway.
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